The Community Standard interviewed Maury, a mixture of toy and miniature poodle, so good-natured that his owner Floyd McLamb declares, “He'd lick your hand if you stole from him.” Maury himself has been kidnapped twice, and had to be retrieved with ransom payments. Maury (short for Maurice) works with Floyd at the 927 Frame Shop on Royal Street.
Community Standard: How old are you?
Maury: Ten and a half. My astrological sign is Virgo, just like Floyd's. He calls our sign “Vertigo.”
Community Standard: You stay in the framing shop all day. Do you get along with everybody that comes in?
Maury: Everybody except small children who pull my ears. I bite them. Also, I hate big dogs. Once I was in a fight with one and got a broken rib. I do like little dogs and big people.
Community Standard: Do you enjoy watching TV?
Maury: No. I'm intelligent! Also, my hearing is failing slightly… I usually go into the next room, but when a dog food commercial comes on, I go in and bark at it.
Community Standard: Speaking of food, are you a gourmet?
Maury: I eat whatever Floyd eats, except for cole slaw, which I despise. I like pears and apples. I enjoy white wine and my favorite beverage is Drambuie. Floyd puts it in my bowl. I sip it, pucker my mouth, step back, and then repeat the process until the whole bowl is empty. Then I sleep for three days.
Community Standard: What are the high points of your day?
Maury: Nap time (which is anytime) and recess. Each afternoon Floyd and I have a play period. We cavort around the shop and get a lot of exercise. I believe it tires him out more than me, though.
Community Standard: Are you able to correctly interpret Floyd's moods?
Maury: He is not too subtle. When I run out of the shop without permission, he yells his head off. Normally, he's easy-going just like me.
Community Standard: How do you butter up Floyd when you want something?
Maury: I do the classic tail wagging, and to really get my way I jump into his lap and lick his face. Humans are easy to motivate, you know… Wanna shake hands?
Copyright © 1975–2006 Henry H. Mitchell.